my thought process whilst listening to a conservatory salesman yesterday went like this

 

he's very young, or am i getting old

I am hungry

his shoes need polishing, you should always have shiny shoes

what is an orangery?

but he has nice hair

not sure which is better, bacon or sausages

will i be able to write my masterpiece in our orangery, if not can we get the money back

i need coffee, coffee, coffee. If I think this hard enough, will it transmit to him and will he make a drink?

can you get lemonreys? or starfruiterys?

i don't like wicker, I don't like the word wicker either, it sounds like witter and flicker which i don't like either

yes! it worked! I have coffee

JUDAS, JUD AA AA

 

Middleagedious

The Daily Telegraph have this morning published

Happiness: the 5 big personality traits - which one are you?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/8489547/Happiness-the-5-big-personality-traits-which-one-are-you.html

 

Well I seem to fall under another category which I have entitled - Middleagedious

Middleagedious people have a low tolerance threshold for several things, stupid people, annoying people, annoying and stupid people, being told what to do and how to think by anyone especially the television, politicians and annoying or stupid people (some can fall under all categories). They tend to have rose tinted glasses when looking back on the past - particularly when it comes to music, films and 'the summer'. In their mind they were halcyon days filled with endless sunshine beach holidays, films that blew your mind, made you laugh and cry (and that was just Short Circuit two) and listened to the most beautiful music that if nightingales had record deals wouldn't have compared to the joyous sounds that Bruno Brookes used to play. Whereas in reality most of it sounded like a nightingale had drank to much 20/20 whilst doodling on a cheap casio keyboard with 'the big drum setting' turned up to eleven and the films dated so badly that the mushrooms delivered by my supermarket to my home had a longer shelf life. And shoes were comfier.

Middleagedious people are likely to agree with the following statments:

Shutup

Go away

God go and annoy someone else

I can't hear anyone speak in clubs

this just sounds like madonna/michael jackson/prince/renee and renata

all these channels and sod all on

why can't I find comfy shoes

Shutup and go away

 

anyway see which category you fall under :-)